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Presenting for Success Everyday!

Did you know that most people “get” a first impression about who we are in the world in the first 15 seconds of their contact with us? Recently while discussing the power of NLP in building rapport and influence with an associate, they said: “Well, isn’t that manipulative? I just want people to accept me for who I am.” What does that really mean? So, by learning how to build instant rapport, by learning how to influence the strength or our relationship with others, by learning how to communicate with excellence and finesse’, we are being manipulative? And, what is really wrong with wanting to influence others in this way? I say it is a matter of cultural conditioning, limiting beliefs and frames of how people construct their reality or “map of the world” that creates such a perception.

Every day we get up in the morning (or at least most of us!) and eventually prepare ourselves to meet others in the world. In this preparation, we want to make a good impression, do we not? We shower, perhaps shave, comb our hair (for many folks, this hair part alone takes up a large chunk of time!)…many women put on make up. Then, we dress; we choose clothes that we have first picked out in store, then we choose them perhaps for comfort, or for our activities of the day, yet often (and perhaps most of the time on some unconscious level) we choose these clothes so that others have a certain impression of us; most of us brush our teeth, etc… Even if we don’t make this conscious choice of impression, the presupposition of: “one cannot not communicate” speaks to the notion that our clothes, our hair style, etc… will communicate something about us.

So during this initial preparation, are we not “being manipulative” in our attempt to share an impression of who we are in the world? We wouldn’t where jeans to a business event like a job interview or business meeting. We wouldn’t where a business suit to a casual get together with friends. Most of us wouldn’t eat onions and garlic prior to meeting people for the first time.

Why?

We want to make an impression, we want to fit in, we want to feel comfortable, we…… We make conscious and unconscious choices to present ourselves in the world every day. NLP offers a model of communication excellence that allows us to dress our behavior so as to make the kind of impression to others that counts. It allows us to communicate so that others really do hear and see “who we truly are” in all our magnificence and excellence. NLP creates an ease of dealing with others that by-passes barriers that once stood in the way in those tough interpersonal meetings. Every time we meet with someone….every time we talk with someone on the phone…. every time we come into contact with another human is an opportunity to present ourselves and make an impression.

What kind of impression do you want to make? Make it conscious, it is in your control. And if you think not, what will you do to make sure it is?